The Jewish Mistress

A Jewish husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.

The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who was that?"

"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."

"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce!"

"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Jaguar in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Moishe? " asks the wife.

"That's his mistress," says her husband.

"Ours is prettier," she replies

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This one's for real, off the BBC News site:

A US woman charged with offering sex for baseball World Series tickets has denied she did anything wrong.

"I'm not embarrassed about my actions. I'm embarrassed about how I was arrested," Susan Finkelstein, from Philadelphia, told AP news agency.

The 43-year-old was speaking a day after meeting an undercover policeman responding to her ad on Craigslist.

In the ad, the Philadelphia Phillies team fan said: "I'm the creative type! Maybe we can help each other!" She also described herself as a "gorgeous, tall, buxom blonde diehard Phillies fan".

Mrs Finkelstein said she had wanted to get tickets to take her husband to Wednesday night's opening game of the World Series - in which the Phillies beat the New York Yankees 6-1.

Her lawyer said his client never explicitly offered sex, adding that she was merely "a nice lady overcome with Phillies fever".