Friday, May 27, 2011

Readings (Part II); the Importance of Being a Mess

I’ve decided to offer written astrology readings in response to specific issues and questions.
The more information you give me, the more specific I can be. Job, career, relationships, house-moving, impossible parent, horrible transit, life falling apart…. I’ll write about half a page. Price £30, or £20 if you’re hard up. My email address is on my profile on the right of the page.

It’s not my job to make decisions for people, but I might be able to point you in a useful direction. Nor is it my job to predict the future in a definite sort of way. But I’m happy to be nebulous!

I’ve been thinking how useful it can be to feel like you’re a mess and you don’t know what to do about it. That’s when a lot of change can happen, and often does happen, though maybe over a period of years.

There’s the light and the dark. The light is following your deeper interests, whatever it is that gives you joy. It is also doing the things that make you happy in an ordinary kind of way, and feeling it’s OK to do that – which, remarkably, people don’t always feel.

But I think it’s also important that there are periods where it all stops making sense, where much of what gave your life meaning no longer seems to. And you’re scrabbling around feeling like this retard who can’t make their life work, unlike all the jolly, directed people up there above your private underworld.

As an astrologer, you’re more likely to encounter people when things aren’t working, rather than when they are. And you can re-assure them that no, they are not a retard, it’s a normal and often necessary experience that gives depth to your life.

‘Spiritual’ paths are often presented in terms of movement towards the light. Towards ecstatic experience, union with God, your original self etc. But I think if you’re a teacher (which I’m not), your real job is often being around for people when their life doesn’t add up anymore. And helping them focus on finding their own way through it, rather than latching on to someone else's 'answers'.

It’s very easy for ‘spiritual’ teachers to stop their own underworld journeys, or even never to have been there properly in the first place. You can see it in them: the unprocessed scripts, classically the desires for power or sex or wealth or success, running alongside the undoubted gifts and insights and probably charisma. These people are betrayers. Their 'rightness' or their success is more important to them than you are. Ironically, betrayal can be what is needed, it can pull someone's world apart in a way that is ultimately useful.

I'm sceptical that teachers with followings can ever take people beyond a basic level. The next level, after you've heard what they have to say, is often claiming your power back by leaving! Followers create a collective projection and a handing over of power which even a good teacher can do little about. You see people hanging around for years, trying to advance themselves, when their next real step is actually to leave.

I think we often only end up an underworld mess if there is conflict in us, if there is a deeper element that goes no, I can’t live like that. You see many people happily leading their lives from relatively narrow motives or worse, but it doesn’t bother them.
They appear successful, and it’s we who can’t live like that who can appear to be the ones with ‘problems’. But as is so often the case, the reality is the opposite of what it appears to be. And part of what gives you depth in this sort of situation is that you are not having the approval of the world to make you feel OK about who you are. You have to find it for yourself, independently. But the confidence you emerge with is real, it stands on its own.


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4 comments:

Magic Dragon said...

Interesting and clear to the point. It is useful and wise to be cautious with those teachers that TELL you what to do, what you need, and where you are going. Everyone has a personal unique path to follow. The teachers when and if we encounter any, are just sign post on the road. Everyone must have control of their wheel in life and steer to wherever they want or need to go. At times, even against the signs on the verge of the road.
Thanks for the post.
Cheers!

Anonymous said...

Occasionally you touch on this self-validation, tied in with, or perhaps it leads to, not needing to be attached to an identity, a label.

These thought-directions are the absolute core of your teaching, non-teacher. :)

Mandy said...

Pretty funky that you're talking about these spiritual teachers right now. I've been following them for about 15 years - no doubt they have helped me (I've only read their books). But I sure have always wondered why the hell their courses are so friggin' expensive - is healing only for the rich? Are they in it to be of service or for the money? You'd think that once they reached a certain financial level themselves that they would start offering things that regular folk could afford. If I was able to get myself to the level of 'financial abundance' required to attend these things, then I wouldn't need their help, now would I? Money has never been a major motivating factor for me, but I've always had just what I needed when I needed it.
Well, three weeks ago I took the plunge - long story, but I decided that I really wanted to talk personally with a certain teacher. Lo and behold, she was coming to a town near me - with about 20 other of them (I Can Do It convention). I wanted to check her out face to face before I put my nose to the grindstone to take her nearly $5000 course. I spent a month's rent to get there. Best money I've invested in me in a long time.
Holy cow - what a trip! I realized before I went that I had them on a pedestal - was kinda bragging that I would be hanging out with the big boys and girls. When I got there, I saw thousands of others practically drooling over these people, and $$$$$$$ galore being spent on books, cd's, usb sticks from the courses, etc.
I was booked for 2 workshops - the first one with the lady I wanted to see and the second with a lady I had read long ago but threw out her books later (don't remember why, but judged her for something).
Did the first workshop and afterward felt absolutely gross. For a woman who teaches Grace towards others, she was ignorant/arrogant/egotistical/judgemental and mean. As I sat watching her, I was absolutely dumbfounded. I realized (she teaches archetypes) that she was just up there being an actress and making stupid attempts at being a comedian. The workshop was 2 hours and I think she spent MAYBE 30 minutes actually talking about the subject of the class.
I spoke to her after (nicely) and she cut me right off in mid-sentence and proceeded to converse with the next in line. I was so shaken by the whole thing I had to go to the bathroom and cry (all the while knowing there was a lesson for me in all of this). I felt completely dark inside and out. I met some ladies later who left her course midway through, they were so disgusted. (Everybody else in the room gave her a standing ovation - sheesh!).
I was so put off I almost didn't go to the next class with the other lady who I had judged years before. Ironically, she was fantastic. She reconnected me to where it all started for me years ago (Native American Wisdom) and the prayers that she sprinkled all over us affected me in a deep and profound way.
I went outside and found another hotshot (Mr. PBS tv) out on the pavement talking to his minions - he was just absolutely basking in the glory of people practically kissing his feet. Later in the pool, I was talking to a woman who had just talked to him without knowing who he was. She told me that one of the first things he said to her was "I'm actually quite famous, you know."
Wow, what a wake up call!! What did I learn? They aren't any better than me. I know just as much as they do (I've read their books remember) if not more - because I understand the true meaning of humble service to humanity.
You got it bang on buddy - I was going there thinking I still needed to be a student and left knowing I had already transformed into a teacher (have always known it's part of my destiny). My confidence is through the roof, but my ego is well balanced. This Phoenix is taking flight!!
P.S. Love your stuff!

Anonymous said...

LOVE IT TOO