I have two younger brothers, who are a lot more like my father than I ever was. He died in 2015. Their relations with him were easy. They have lived as he did - straightforward, ambitious, materialistic guys, like a lot of people. Their charts don't interact particularly strongly with my father's, except in easy ways.
Mine, however, does. His Sun conjoins my Asc and squares my Moon-Saturn. His Saturn conjoins my Moon. His Moon opposes my Sun. His Mars hard aspects my Asc, Moon and Saturn. His Asc conjoins my North Node. My MC conjoins his North Node. Strong, visceral, challenging interactions that were 'meant' to be.
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We never had much to do with each other once I left school. We were chalk and cheese. I fled for my own psychological survival, and to pursue my metaphysical quest. But he was never far away. Breaking free consumed me for decades. He is still there. A shadow lifted from me when he died.
For his part, he was proud, how was he to speak of me to his friends, this eldest son who was, from his point of view, an embarrassment and a failure? This man, with a Sun-Mars-Saturn t-square, to whom what other people thought mattered so much?
As I say, the astrology shows the connection to be strong and visceral, for both of us, but never spoken because challenging, and powerful in a way it could never be with the younger sons who were like him. How interesting. Such a strong interaction, yet we lived away from each other, precisely because it was so challenging. But that didn't mean there wasn't an intense relationship occurring. Considering our charts has alerted me to this.
And then it happened again with my ex, who I was with for 18 years. She has the same Sun and Moon as my mother. Her Sun squares my Mars, my Sun squares her Mars. Her Saturn squares my Sun, my Moon-Saturn squares her Moon. Very difficult. Yet we were pulled irresistibly together because her Sun and Moon are in my 7th House, my Sun conjoins her Asc, my Moon-Saturn conjoins her MC. We have been apart for over 4 years. It was always difficult, yet it changed me hugely. I can't speak for her. We have very little to do with each other now, and I suspect it will need to always remain that way. It is not the sort of synastry where you remain 'friends' afterwards. We could easily be enemies if I behaved like she does.
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So like my Dad, there is this
strong ongoing relationship in which we rarely meet, described by the
antagonistic astrology. But that doesn't mean there isn't something
transformational going on under the surface, that requires the distance in
order to happen. It's a long and deep process, which will run for many years
yet.
Pluto is coming up to conjoin my Aquarian Venus. How will I love, who will I love, then?