"If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you."
That is Saying No 70 from the Gospel of St Thomas.
It sounds to me like Sun in hard aspect to Pluto. With Sun and Pluto, you have 2 very different principles at work. The Sun is reaching upwards towards the light, towards individual unfoldment. It is conscious, ‘civilised’. Pluto represents a call from the primordial collective consciousness, from the raw, undifferentiated power of nature. It is the Sun that needs to learn to understand and honour Pluto, and this can take many years.
________________________________________________Ad Break: I offer webcam astrology readings (£20 per ½ hour, £60 maximum, no time limit). Contact: Dharmaruci71(at)hotmail.com.
The Sun pushes forward into the light, and Pluto keeps pulling it back, saying you are incomplete. You have this nagging feeling of disempowerment that keeps you awake at night that you cannot shake off. In some ways you have the power of Pluto, you have a strong confident presence. But there is this hidden tormented side to you that contains your true power, and you maybe project it onto lovers or parents or bosses or teachers and see them as having power over you, but eventually you have to go within and claim it or it will keep eating at you.
You may even experience it as a curse, an affliction that runs through the family that has also got you, but if you are reading this, you are probably the one with the strength to make it conscious and claim the gifts buried deep within it.
So with Sun-Pluto you can’t just jog along and hope to get away with it. You have powers within you that life is pushing you to claim, and Pluto has this horrible way of trampling you down until one day you go no more and at last you stand up.
And in claiming that gift, and your independence with it, self-doubt is your companion. It is a fire you have to go through, and keep going through, because you are putting your deepest self, your soul if you like, into the world.
And others recognise that, they respond to that. People long for that authenticity that Pluto gives. And people who want to live by the rules – well, they might admire you from a distance, they might even dip their toes in your waters now and then, but you are not safe, you can’t be predicted, because Pluto rather than Saturn is your master. Your recognition has to come from within.